All the small things

Last summer I was admitted to the Master's of History program at Simmons College. When I got the acceptance letter in the mail a sense of accomplishment slowly came over me. I was moving on with my education, getting an chance to be challenged and to learn. God I wished that I put more effort into my undergad degree it would have been much easier to get into Graduate School.

So, getting into Grad School posed a totally new problem for me...paying for Graduate School.

I thought real hard and came up with the following options to pay for class

Option A: Loan

Option B: Credit Card(s)

Option C: Scholarship

I tried getting several scholarships or grants and was unsuccessful with each attempt. I was too dumb to get a scholarship, and when I applied for a Grant, the women on the phone quickly realized that I was not Latino as advertised, and threatened to prosecute me for fraud. When I heard this my response was, "Que?" then I hung up.

The Credit Card companies laughed at me when I called them up, and said the way my credit score was I might be eligible for U.N. relief. No seriously, my credit score and my SAT math score were pretty damn close.

The Bank wouldn't let me walk though the door, and Sallie Mae told me to play in traffic, so there was no loan coming either.

What was left...paying out of pocket..? What a strange and foreign idea for me.

If your still reading, your wondering what the hell does this have to do with the Ride? Here is is...

I was accepted to a Federal Grant that gives teachers lessons on history, but focuses on primary sources. The class that I was taking focused on the Industrial Revolution, something that is heavy in my curriculum. I would increase my knowledge of the content I was teaching, and my kids benefitted from having a teacher that knew more then what was just in the text book. For $235 I would be taking 2 graduate classes from UMASS Boston. I stepped in it big time.

The first class was from August 2009 and ended in April of 2010, meeting every other Wednesday. The second class was offered the week of July 19th or the week of August 2nd. I signed up for the week of July 19th...but thought it started on July 26th. I missed my class, 3 Grad Credits wasted, gone. I basically was given $4,000 and burnt it in my backyard.

I showed up for class on July 26th, drove all the way out to Lowell for it. Had my syllabus in my notebook, even got dressed up for the occasion. Waited at the park across from the Textile Mill for 30 minutes as National Park Rangers and tour guides gave me a funny look. I didnt blend, fat guy wearing a button down and khakis and my stupid male purse in the middle of a park while camp kids line up for a field trip. I was nervous that Chris Hansen was going to ask me what I was doing there.

As my anxiety grew, I checked my itinerary to see if I had the right park.

"Ok I got the right mill....and it is 9:00 it said meet at 8:45....and its Monday...oh shit."

Looooonnnggg ride home from Lowell. A traffic filled, pain in my chest, how the fuck did this happen ride home.

I had to make some phone calls that day that were really making my sick.

First I needed to explain what happened to the Federal Grant Director and pray to God that I could switch. I was able to take the class during the week of August 2nd, and the woman in charge of the program found the whole incident amusing and assured me that it would not be a problem.

Then I had to call Billy, and Tim. (I was too embarrassed and too much of a chicken shit to call Meagan up). Rescheduling the Ride was not an option so the whole thing was put on the shelf.

My mom insists that I was "not supposed to ride" this year and assured me that everything happens for a reason. By Friday, I hope to have found out what exactly that reason is because I feel awful.

The 2007 version of me is probably disgusted that I let the ride fall by the wayside. I probably would have done the ride and just forgot about the credits, but now I can't just pass up on that type of opportunity.

For weeks I have been putting off checking my work email. I kept insisting that I just did not want to deal with school and was enjoying my carefree and Updike filled summer of John.

Was my not checking my work email in time a Quantum Leap worthy experience. Shouldn't have Dr. Sam Beckett "Lept" into my life on July 18th and had me download my Course Itinerary on his quest for the last leap home? How many of our little actions or indecisions have some sort of major impact on our life?

For example if I had completed my online application to Catholic University I would have gone there and not have gone to Marist. Crazy right? I have no idea how my life would have turned out. However, I never finished it, and eventually got into Marist after being wait listed for awhile.

Now that I think about it I was actually wait-listed at Marist. I did not know what to do, considering the only other college that I had applied to (Fordham) had sent me a very polite rejection letter. A Seminarian at my parish heard about my situation and informed me that he was really close friends with a member of the Board of Trustees at Marist and promised to place a call for me. I got in 3 days after talking to him. I had met the Seminarian while I was working at the parish rectory during high school, a job that I almost quit the year before.

There are probably dozens of these moments in my life that I still have yet to realize the impact that they have had. I hope that not doing the ride is one of them.