David Ortiz Tests Positive for Steroids

While I was sitting in my professional development class this morning I thought that I would give into my borderline ADD and peruse the internet and see what else was going on in the world. So, like a good New Englander I went to Boston.com and in a large banner read: "Ortiz Tested Positive for Steroids in 2003" The article simply read more details to follow. I sat there feeling stunned but also vindicated. Slowly a grin crept across my face as I passed my laptop over to my colleagues who are all big Sox fans and relished in their disappointed and upset expressions.
I guess I should explain my vindication feelings. Like most Yankee fans, for me David Ortiz is synonymous with agida. However, I could never truly say I hated the guy. Schilling you could hate, he was pompous and was basically white trash with money. Manny you could hate, the guy seemed like a prick, and Pedro...well after flinging Zim on the ground, you get the point. Ortiz was different, he wasn't really cocky or arrogant, he just leaned over the plate and killed the Yankees. Anyway, what aggravated me about Ortiz was how in 2002 he was dropped by the Twins, which is liked being dumped by the ugliest chick in your grade, if that happens turn in your externals young man, you will not be needing them. The Sox pick him up in 2003, he has a "break through" year and suddenly John Henry, Theo, and Larry Lu are like the Father, Son and Holy Ghost of baseball. They knew of Ortiz's potential, and how he had the makings of a great hitter. It was all the praise of the Sox front office which really irked me.
My buddy Jim from Camp, came up to Boston and he got tickets to the Sox game, Lizzie and Scottie came as well. The conversation of Ortiz and his slump came up, and I said to Liz that well yeah he is off the juice, no wonder hes in a slump. That got her Irish up and she began to defend Papi. "Jesus Christ Liz, look how much hes slimmed down, the uniform is baggy on him. Hes almost batting his weight." (no folks I am no baseball prophet, just an observant wise ass). I made Jimbo look up his baseball stats to help win my argument:

2002 Minnesota 20 HRS 75 RBIS .272 BA .500 Slugging

2003 Boston 32 HRS 101 RBIS .288 BA .592 Slugging

2004 Boston 41 HRS 139 RBIS .301 BA .603 Slugging


Now, even though I presented cold hard facts to Liz she did not buy my argument like a faithful fan, she ignored it. Like a good drunk, Scottie argued that I was wrong and that he just came into his own.

With Manny's name on the list as well, it made we wonder about the 2004 playoffs. Wait, Ortiz tested positive in 2003 not 2004...oh don't give me that B.S. If it worked so well for him in '03, is he going to just say, "Yeah, that was fun but lets get back to hard work. Homeruns are not fun." Folks, if Claritin is working for you, are you going to stop using it and go back runny noses and water eyes. Not unless your a glutton for punishment.

"But the Yanks had roid users on their team in 2004 too" Yeah, well my needle pushers sucked in the playoffs. I argue that the impact Ortiz and Manny had for the Sox easily outweighs the impact Giambi, Rodriguez, or Sheffield had for the Yanks. If that was untrue, Fever Pitch would have had a much different ending.

I walk away with two truths from this whole experience:

1. the A-Roid shirts might not sell so well in Kenmore Square

2. How do you break and 86 year old Curse? You Cheat.