"Nice Socks"

That was comment was directed at my by the server at Panera in Wappingers Falls. Apparently my pink argyle socks did not suit her fancy, but I digress.

Last night, it was brought up to me by the Leighton's that there is a NY bike trail. That route saved us a great amount of time and heartache. All the crazyness of Route 9 and roadkill for that matter was bypassed. It was like going down one of the green pipes Super Mario Brothers 3 and skipping the hard levels. Its not cheating, its ingenious. Not only were the Leightons amazing hosts, but also served as terrific navigators. Thank you both so much.
Exhausted, sweaty, and smelly, I collapsed on a recliner last night. The first text message I see was from my buddy dash former roomy Erik. The last thing that he mentioned was how the weather was supposed to be beautiful today, and that made me feel a great deal better.
While riding down Route 9, we stopped at that Panera (where a former Dutchess County Community College scholar took a cheap shot at me). Billy and Meg Mac asked if either Timer (pronounce Time Er) or I saw the moped gang earlier. I thought that it was one of Billy's highly convincing lies but Meg confirmed it. Billy said that I would have been "sexually satisfied" at the sight of this Vespa gang. Im not going to lie, I was a little bummed that I missed it.
Going down 9, I was able to gain some momentum (momentum, moproblems) and passed the group. Going down a hill at a pretty fast clip I saw on the right hand side of the road, a red and white polka dotted person on a scooter. I got so pumped, this was definitely the Vespa gang. I first thought, "wait Billy didn't mention that they were clowns." I saw that the clown was waving, so I assumed that this person was trying to wave in customers to shops.
Turns out it was not a clown, just an elderly large woman, sitting on a rascal. She kept waving to cars and then saw me and gave me a wave. She was parked right at the exit of a shopping center on Route 9. I waved back. I was about to pass her when she shouted. "please help im stuck." I slammed on the brakes and stopped just short of her, and yeah sure enough her back wheels were stuck in the road. She told me that she was trying to get home, not knowing where home was I got in front of the scooter and tried to push her as she put her ride in reverse. She panicked, and told me to push her from behind. My fear was that if I pushed her from the back of the scooter and she is gunning the engine on that thing, shes going into two lanes of traffic and Im charged with involuntarily manslaughter
Tried from behind, and had to get my hands underneath the damn scooter, and the right tire ran over my fingers. She got out, and did a 360, either in celebration or she was testing out the shocks or something. The first words out of her mouth were "oh God Bless you." Quickly followed by, "can I buy you Planet Wings?" I thought about it, but I already had eaten Panera and two hotdogs (on a dare) earlier. She asked me for my name, I told her John. She sighed, grabbed her rather large bosom and said, "John's are always saving me." I stood there and said, well Im on a bike, so I gotta ride to Hyde Park." With that, we parted ways.

So, as I sit here in Donelly lab staring at the computer where I did my Capping project, I'm feeling good about myself. screw that Panera broad.